Tag Archives: Condiment

Ketchup? Yuck!

Maybe the closest thing to a phobia that I have is this; I don’t like ketchup. I didn’t always feel this way. It just is something that has developed in my adult life. Not that I don’t like ketchup on delicious food such as hot dogs and hamburgers, but given the choice I’d rather have BBQ sauce or spicy mustard. What can I say? I’m complicated.
But here is what I can’t stand:

The smell of ketchup!
Ketchup, gooey and sticky around the lid of the ketchup bottle!
Ketchup dripped on the floor, now on my shoe!
Ketchup drops on the counter, on the table, on the island!
Ketchup now on my sleeve!
Ketchup on the wash rag that wasn’t rinsed after cleaning up spilled ketchup!
Ketchup now on my hands!
Wash my hands with soap and water, but they still smell like KETCHUP!

To me ketchup is like a real life miniature version of the old sci-ficharacter THE BLOB! Touch it and it sticks to you and will not come off. Pretty soon it’s everywhere, all over your fingers and elbows, clothes. Of course the smell never goes away! It reminds me of a painful grade school memory when someone stomped a ketchup packet and it sprayed all over my shoes and pant legs. The smell reminded me of the humiliation all…day…long…

Tomatoes are a wonderful vegetable, er, um, fruit (whatever). The best tomatoes come fresh from the garden and usually you have to wait until July. So sad that they have to ship them green so that they don’t rot before they reach the grocer. The Problem is they never taste any good from the store because of this. So I only eat tomatoes from July – September. Not Good Enough! I suppose that is why someone came up with the solution of pureeing fresh tomatoes and adding them to the recipe for glue!That just irreverent!

Beyond the gross qualities of it, getting ketchup as a topping is like watching black and white TV in an age of advanced 3D television technology. When I use ketchup as a topping it is more for the sentimental value it adds remembering childhood bonfire and hot dog roasts. If you dislike plain off-white wall color spanning the walls throughout the inside of your home, that’s how I feel about ketchup. Buh-Lah! (that’s blah emphasizing both syllables)

The final reason I dislike ketchup so much is the word association of it all. It reminds me how many of my goals I’m behind on; books to read, songs to learn, people to know better, prayers to pray, scripture to memorize, new worship artists to listen to, send that email, make this contact…. it’s overwhelming! I Have To Ketchup! I mean Catch Up!

Take it one day at a time sounds so cliche, but it’s something to keep in mind. God never said we were to “get it all” and “get it all done” in 24 hours. I believe each lesson, every growth experience is to be savored, because it is an encounter with the almighty. There is no such thing as microwave discipleship. And even if there was, I’m not sure I’d like it very much. Like the juicy tomato ripened on the vine after months of feeding and watering, sunshine and rain, savor every bite. Take it in and be reminded of the rewards of the slow and laborious process. I might be behind on my goals and on lessons I wish I had already learned, but the answer isn’t to get all caught up in a single day or even a single week. Rather, the slower, more intentional route is the way to go. One day at a time, one lesson at a time. Steady growth that lasts. That’s something I can appreciate.

(No ketchup was ingested during the writing of this blog)


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